How to change your mood instantly
Gaining Control is as Easy as A-B-C-D-E
This model of thinking is part of cognitive behavioural therapy.
I have used it often and so have memorised the ABCDE so I can change my mood instantly.
The therapy says people can act and think rationally. But when we think irrationally, these “negative” thoughts and feelings can get in our way.
Another way to look at it is by thinking about how it is not the event that causes emotions and behaviours, but it is one’s belief about the event that leads to our emotions.
The “A” is an activating event that caused the issue for you.
The “B” involves your beliefs (thoughts) about the activating event.
The “C” represents the consequences of your beliefs about the event.
The “D” is for dispute and is when we question our beliefs.
The “E” is eventual outcome. How you feel after disputing a perhaps irrational belief or action.
My most recent example of this was last week. I will explain how I handled it.
I get my weekly grocery order delivered every week on Thursday. They can turn up at any time. Usually late. This Thursday I had a migraine the previous night and taken strong medication. I woke up a bit later than usual but thought nothing of it. I waited all day until finally I phoned them and was told they had come early and I hadn't answered the door. They would deliver the next day. I had waited for nothing all day long and now had to wait the next day too. I had stupidly overslept.
I felt confused, depressed, angry and overwhelmed by what I had done.
So here was the ABCDE that I did:
Activating event. – I overslept and missed my order and waited all day for nothing.
Belief – I looked at my belief and was surprised by my strong words – I stuffed up. I ALWAYS stuff up.
Consequence – I sat feeling immobilised, depressed and like a total waste of time. Like a failure who constantly messes up.
Dispute – Did I really stuff up? - They delivered much earlier than usual, and I was sick so just an unfortunate coincidence. They would deliver the next day so no big deal really. Do I always stuff up? - They have been delivering every week for about three years. This is the first time I missed them. I actually have a great record of being there to collect my groceries. I actually have never messed up before. Just one unfortunate day that was bound to happen once. I am a reliable person.
Eventual outcome – I felt invigorated and got up and sorted out my house. My feeling of overwhelm and depression were completely gone. I felt light and happy. In a good mood again.
The above are just words so they don’t seem so effective when you read though the event. When you do it for some situation of your own that was upsetting, you will find yourself going through the emotions while you do the exercise and your emotions will heal.
I have used this countless times. Perhaps I am sitting or driving and am aware of a sort of depressive or tense feeling and I can trace it back to some earlier incident. Doing the ABCDE fixes it instantly.
Soon you are in a new, joyful mood.